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Me - A Reflective Essay, With A Free Essay Review
Theres not a lot of things I would say about myself, Im not as interesting or complex. The basic things are, well Im a girl, a 15-year-old girl dealing with the situations a girl my age would deal with. Im not proud of everything Ive done, but well I cant change the past. For me you have two options you either run from the past or learn from it. Ive decided to learn from it, learning from the past is not as easy as it sounds. Self-improving is harder. I mean its not impossible, but it is really difficult.
This past year was the year I changed the most, trying to find myself. I got the wrong idea of finding yourself; I thought I could do it in a year. I learned you need a lot more than a year for self-discovering. It is a long process thats starts since the day you were born. This year I learned things too fast; you can say I rushed through the process of finding myself. Problems I never knew I would have, things I never imagined I would do. Dealing with stuff I never wanted to deal with. I was weak, not physically weak, self-esteem weak. All I needed was support, and I got the opposite.
I tried to find support and compassion in ways I wasnt supposed to get them. No one would understand my problems, unless they face them themselves. No one can judge me because they dont know how it is like. Every single error I have committed in life has a reason, not an excuse, but a reason. People should try to understand, or at least just listen. They dont know how their words can hurt, and affect someone. I didnt know how I could verbally hurt a person, until I was the one hurt by the same words. Im a brand new person, from who I used to be. Different ideas, and completely different goals. This whole year I won nothing, but experience. Whats experience? Experience is what people call what they learn from errors, and believe me, I learned a lot.
The essay is very reticent (perhaps, given your age and the public nature of this site, rightly reticent) to speak candidly about the experience to which you vaguely refer throughout. Your essay bears the title "me," but you really say very little about yourself. Such reticence makes it difficult to provide a meaningful review of your essay. I could go through it sentence by sentence pointing out every instance of vagueness, but you already know how vague you are being. You are trying to write without examples about a topic that above all else needs examples in order to be compelling or even comprehensible. All I can say is that, if you have a private audience you trust, write an essay that actually communicates something.
A couple of language notes:
1. Independent clauses (groups of words that can stand alone as sentences) should not be joined together with a comma (which is an error called the "comma splice"). Here are two examples of that error from your essay:
i. Theres not a lot of things I would say about myself, Im not interesting or complex.
ii. Ive decided to learn from it, learning from the past is not as easy as it sounds.
Join independent clauses with a semi-colon instead. Alternatively, separate them into individual sentences using a period. (Note: of course you can also join independent clauses with a conjunction, such as and or but.) So:
i. There's not a lot of things I would say about myself; I'm not interesting or complex.
ii. I've decided to learn from it. Learning from the past is not as easy as it sounds.
2. Some expert writers use sentence fragments all the time, but novice writers should probably avoid them. Forcing yourself to write in complete sentences is a way of forcing yourself to write with clarity. Here are two examples of sentence fragments from your essay. When you take these fragments out of context, their meaning is very vague.
i. "Problems I never knew I would have, things I never imagined I would do."
ii. "Different ideas, and completely different goals."
Complete sentences, as you know, typically have a subject and a predicate. Let's add the ones you were probably thinking of implicitly but left out:
i. "I encountered problems I never knew I would have; I did things I never imagined I would do."
ii. "I have different ideas now, and completely different goals."
Even out of context, such sentences are quite clear.
Submitted by: paocuevas96
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